Table of Contents These poems are listed in reverse chronological order. Rose Haiku Generic Haiku The Man Who Loved Roses The Search Planting Bulbs Growing Up Ancient Gods Poetry Books How is it for you? Standard COBOL Structure Form Twilight Rendezvous   Rose Haiku Luscious vanilla Rimmed with raspberry topping mmmmm . . . Double Delight 1999 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Generic Haiku Made in Korea 100% cotton Wash warm, tumble dry 1999 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top The Man Who Loved Roses I watch him in the morning sun Quietly working away Tending his garden with precious care In the freshness of the new day He's intimately familiar with each green thing Every change his keen eyes see The creeping spurge, a brand new bud And light through the leaves on the tree. He knows the names of every rose, Such as Scentimental and French Lace Double Delight and Fragrant Cloud Sheer Bliss and Angel Face. Reaching, he measures a tapered stem, And snips it at just the right place Laden with treats for all the senses He draws it up close to his face The beauty grows more intoxicating As more deeply it draws him in. Gently brushing his fingers over the petals Incredibly soft against his skin He twirls the rose slowly to see it all The colors a spectrum of swirling bands Vanilla, blush, lemon and peach A sunset unfolding in his hands Closer still he leans into the rose Pausing, he closes his eyes Lost in the petals, he savors the fragrance Sighing a satisfied sigh How I envy the roses in that garden How I wish I were one of them too Then you might turn to me and be smitten And see me with eyes that are new I wish you'd walk right over to me And draw me up close in your arms And gaze in my eyes like you gaze at the roses And be enamored with these feminine charms Brush your fingers against my cheek And see the sun sparkling in my hair Taste the honey in my sweet lips There are treasures for you everywhere Enjoy the contours of my round shoulders Savor the softness of my smooth skin Bury your face in my slender neck And my female fragrance drink in I know these roses can't feel your caresses Yet as I watch, my jealousy grows Dote instead on the one who appreciates Make love to me like a rose. September 1999 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top The Search A lifetime ago, when I was so young, I dreamed of finding that special one On his white charger he'd ride into my life Scoop me up in his arms and make me his wife. He'd look into my eyes with an adoring gaze And be enamored of all my ways I'd give my heart to this precious man And daily love him every way that I can. That grown-up world was so far out of reach And no one around me to guide or to teach A trusting little girl with storybook dreams And beckoning adulthood that shimmers and gleams Will I be pretty when I'm no longer a child? Will my path be easy or confusing and wild? How will I know which is the right man? Is it all happenstance? Or is there a plan? I remember the stirrings when I was a teen Neither woman, nor child, but that strange between Flirting in class, teasing in the park Holding hands at the movies, kissing in the dark Each clumsy move charged with chemistry Fueling the dreams inside of me Some day I'll have a boy all my own No more sneaking around to be with him alone. What a delicious, heavenly time that will be I'll love him completely and he will love me My heart will beat fast when he is near Then we'll give our love freely without guilt or fear All the things that now only grown-ups can do We'll enjoy with each other the whole night through No parents, or curfews, just our own little place Then I'll wake in the dawn to see his smiling face The day finally came when I was a bride A fair young maid with butterflies inside I sparkled like the heavens in my brilliant white dress I felt glorious and special, just like a princess And there he stood at the end of the aisle With a tear in his eye and a choked-up sort of smile I've dreamed of this moment every day of my life We're no longer children, but now man and wife. Now I can enjoy him, my incarnate dream And savor our love in an unbroken stream Hour upon hour we'll stoke inner fires And leisurely explore our passion's desires Our soft sensuous skin soon kissed by moist lips But these treasures he informed me he wanted to skip "There's some I've waited all my life to do So get naked and lie still so I can do it to you." My dreams are all burst; I'm consummately his own, I thought we'd be coupled, but I'm profoundly alone, How could I be used when it's my honeymoon night? How could it be rape if didn't even fight? My head says he loves me, he gave me vows and a ring, My gut knows something's wrong with everything He blames me for the trouble because he works just fine And says I'll get used to it if I just give it time. With mindless submission I do my duty to God Hating my life beneath our Christian façade All my joys and my smiles he crushed away I'm his personal maid twenty-four hours a day Dressed in old clothes, hair pulled back in a knot Whatever life used to be, I completely forgot Just his five-minute pit stop at night all those years Then he'd turn and sleep soundly while I cried silent tears My home's not a castle after all, but a cell Marriage is not heaven, but tyrannical hell No TV, no paper, no magazines Trapped in this time capsule, the world spins unseen My few friends are hobbled prisoners too Nothing makes sense, but we don't know what to do All our men tell us it's not their fault we're sad We're obviously defective, ungrateful and bad I finally escaped, but at a terrible price Thrown out in the street without legal advice The church forbade me to contest anything More sorrows and tears from my soul he would wring No children, no shelter, no income from him No schooling or job skills for a new life to begin Dreams dead in my heart, I scrape to survive It breaks, and it breaks; yet still I'm alive Life is bleak as winter with perpetual gray It buffets and hounds me day after day The dead, endless cold freezes everything To my feelings and dreams the icicles cling But like bulbs in the garden, sleeping deep in the ground They sense when it's time for spring to come round The sun with its warmth, the sweet, gentle rain Will coax them awake to live once again In my sleep my heart beats, and my dreams start to grow In the Land of Nod, I see days long ago Where jasmine blooms softly in the moonlight And kisses are tender deep in the night My passion's awake, my desire is strong His secure embrace is where I belong So vivid is each moment that I partake But then it all vanishes when I awake Is one man out there, someone special for me? Someone to share love and set my soul free? Does he wonder where I am? Do his empty arms ache? Will love come again and heal my heart's break? The hard truth is that time's left its trace There's gray in my hair and lines on my face Older men still crave a blossoming maid What do I possess for his heart to persuade? Out there is a milieu of uncaring strangers Not innocent boys, but men filled with dangers The gifts they offer are really traps that I fear, They lie with every word I crave to hear Romantic charm cloaks their bullying side, And terrible anger that they're careful to hide Promising everything for convenient sex, 'Till my soul is raped and my life is wrecked. How will I navigate this treacherous maze And find the true beacon in the darkening haze A haystack-needle with a heart of gold To grow in friendship as we grow old. Behind iron walls my tender heart waits For genuine love to open the gates Then dreams will flower and bloom once again I'll open my heart and take his love in. August 13, 1999 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Planting Bulbs Late at night I heard the rain splashing all around, Washing away the heat and dust, and softening the ground. Fall has finally come at last, and brought its perky chill, Let's go out to the freshness, and the garden we can till. We pull on our grubby jeans, and a long sleeved flannel shirt, And find the canvas gloves, now dry and stiff with dirt. The grass is tall and wet, fluffy clouds are racing by, The air is so delicious, we drink it with a happy sigh. The leaves are now all scattered, a hundred yellows we can see, The dog found a persimmon to eat under the tree. In the shed we find the bulbs we bought some weeks ago, We'll give each one a new home, and watch all the flowers grow. We have crocus and freesias, hyacinths and daffodils, Next Spring they'll dance among the roses and Sweet Wills. Mommy digs the little hole, Julia carefully sets it in, We cover it very gently, to let the growth begin. Steadily we work through the beds, observing all that's there, The fallen leaves, the vibrant greens, the sweet fragrance in the air. The alyssum is all leggy, but underneath new seedlings grow, The pillbugs and the earthworms, about their jobs they go. And now our job is finished, and it's a job well done, We put the shovels and trowels away, then watch the setting sun. And now it's really chilly! Brrrrrr our hands are cold! Quick, run inside and we'll have cider, warm and sweet and gold. In a few days it will rain again, while bulbs grow slowly in the ground, We'll be inside, safe and snug, while winter rages all around. A few more months the earth will warm, the mockingbirds will sing, Every bulb will have a beautiful flower to welcome in the Spring. November 13, 1998 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Growing Up When I was a small little girl I loved each exciting new day The sun took forever to cross the sky I had all the time in the world to play My backyard was just the huge-est place With lots of interesting rocks and trees The flowers made forests for my little dolls And I made houses from pretty leaves In the Gum trees I knew there lived Gum Babies And the fairies also sneaked out each night On the driveway you could see swirling colors In the water if you looked at it right. The sky was always wonderfully changing Clouds of cotton floated by on felt blue But later the air would turn golden And everywhere sunbeams shone through On the warm days we'd run through the grass So tickle-y on our bare feet We'd tumble down playing like kittens Throwing grass so green and so sweet Sometimes on the most bestest days There'd be sun and rain both at the same time We'd run out of the house and look up in the sky And see the rainbow's colors all shine. Being a child was really quite nice But being a grown up would be even more fun I'd have macaroni for dinner whenever I want And stay up 'till my playing's all done. I'd drive my friends and dolls to the park I'd have chocolate milk at every meal I'd have crayons and paints and glitter and glue And play in the rain whenever I feel. But being a grown up isn't like that at all And work is much worse than school We're trapped without recess from morning 'till night And people could care less if they're cruel. Everyone is so up-and-up On shaking hands and protocol, Business attire to impress and command Being "professional"permeates all. But the girls who played rough at sockball Are now bitches that stab in the back The boys who once said I had cooties Are now dicks trying to get in the sack. We walk on soundless synthetic gray carpet All walls are matching nondescript white The temperature's a perfect seventy-five There's no clue if it's day or it's night We're each assigned to our own little work cells So's not distract from the tasks we must do. We pin photos on claustrophobic walls To recall the world that we once knew. Each payday I get fistfuls of money But the bills are mountainous too. I must save, save, save what I can Because layoffs come out of the blue. Being a grown-up is awful How I miss my childhood days. When I could see the sun the birds and the trees And be happy in the simplest ways. November 6, 1998 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Ancient Gods At the dawn of history On the brink of time Gods walked the earth with mortal men In Mediterranean clime They lived on Mt. Olympus, Their exclusive paradise They dined on sweet ambrosia And pondered all things wise Gods indulged their lusty passions, Consorts worked their jealous schemes Blackmail mixed with bribery Was how they wove their dreams The Mighty Ones who ruled the sky Clashed with those who ruled the sea And goddesses in soft chiffon . . . - Breathtaking for all to see They'd come down to their temples "Who seeks favor from on high? We'll turn the tide of war or ships Or grant love that is denied" None existed with more power And they exercised it well They'd bless one man with a kingdom Or send another straight to hell And so they ruled the world Creating heroes, crushing foes Triumphing over immortal beasts Leveling nations with their woes. Then the faithful found a new god From far off Palestine One by one each heart was turned And abandoned sacred shrines The gifts grew more infrequent Requests just trickled in The gods had nothing left to do Things changed from what had been Mysterious shores were charted Dust buried ancient sites Scholars studied science All forgot the sacred rites Civilization crept more forward New kingdoms rose and fell The Christian god now reigned supreme With its own mysteries to tell Now old temples lie in ruins Dusty tourists crowd around Gods hear the words of docents On once this hallowed ground Alone on their Olympus Now a conquered mountain top They reminisce of golden days They thought would never stop "No one sends their prayers to us, No one fears our wrath None remember us at all They've found a different path" "Men solved all nature's riddles Developed technology No longer need to court our help Each controls his destiny" "The stars alone will tell them, And recall ancient deeds each night When we were feared by all mankind And ruled with all our might" "Believing or not believing Doesn't change what's true Either we exist with power Or we're a figment born of you" October 25, 1998 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Poetry Books Late at night I open books, And peer back into time, Where poets tapped their deepest thoughts And poured passion out in rhyme. Revealing facets of their lives From days of long ago, Crystallized now in rhyme So other hearts may know. The tragedy of Hesperus Poe's aching for Lenore, Shakespeare's darling buds of May In Summer days of yore. Of fair and beautiful maidens, Of broken hearts and lives, Sad love that's unrequited All lie plain before my eyes. I think about the things they saw, Were their days not unlike these? Filled with toil, pain and love, Or luscious garden ease. The golden orb which lights the sky The rosy fingered dawn The fair beloved who can't be won., I turn the page now and they’re gone. Now these men have left the earth, Their passions turned to clay. Eyes can't see, ears can't hear, All loved ones gone away. Their hearts have finally ceased to break, Arms can't hold their own true love. The grave has stilled their pon'dring minds, While new days turn above. Now it's my turn on the earth To live these hastening days. To see the sky, to feel the breeze, Before my life soon slips away. I smell the flowers and hug my babes, And break my heart on worthless men, And all that's left to remember this Will be the poems from my pen September 8, 1998 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top How Is It For You? How is it for you? I'm a woman, you're a man. To me our love is special, You help yourself to all you can. I give my heart to you believing you reciprocate, But I'm your hobby on the side, like a pet you tolerate. The first time we're together we go out for some fun, invariably I wonder, could this man be the one? The one I've dreamed about at night, the one I've yearned to know, Is this also what you're thinking? No, just, "How far can I go?" One day I say I love you, you say you love me too. I think you feel what I feel: A love that's deep and true. I want to only give now, my trusting heart you've won, But for you it wasn't special just the voice of a hard on. The first time that we make love it is so intimate. To be one with the one I love, I treasure every bit. I've opened up my heart to you, to the marrow of my soul. But to you I'm just the latest lay, a female with a hole. Now that we have bonded I want to see you every day Each moment is so precious, but you begin to pull away. To you I have been conquered, no longer interesting. I try hard to make you happy, But you complain that now I cling. One day we do agree that I'll move in with you. Another step towards marriage surely our love is true. I'll prove I'll make a good wife I'll make you're pad a happy home, but you just sit back and take, why change the status quo? I feel the day is nearing when we'll be man and wife, We'll love and help each other, we'll build the perfect life. But a life with just one woman? For you what could be worse? Too much responsibility and a suffocating curse. You need more time to "think it through" first weeks, then months, now years. Where do you see us going? My hope's dissolves to tears. I gave you all I had to give, but you refused to treat me right. You had a million and one excuses, and dubbed me a parasite. Those precious years I threw away, precious time now down the drain. I thought you were that special one, you gave me devastating pain. "Cheer up", you say, "It's not so bad", "we had fun". Yeah, you're doing well. For me it wasn't fun at all, but a journey into hell. March 13, 1998 © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Standard COBOL Structure Form (May be sung to G&S's "Modern Major General", sans chorus) This is a simple model of the standard COBOL structure form. Four separate parts to understand which all procedures must conform. IDENTIFY, ENVIRONMENT, some DATA and PROCEDURE too, each has their tricky ins and outs especially to confuse you. I-DEN-TI-FI-CA-TION is the first and likewise is the easiest, with ID name and author for perusal by a nosy guest, Date written and compiled is also information to be keyed, and some remarks to toss right in for those who really like to read. ENVIRONMENT DIVISION has the SOURCE and OBJECT com-put-ers, next INPUT / OUTPUT sections with SELECT / ASSIGN part-ti-u-lars. There's one SELECT created just for every file's special name, Then ASSIGN to which output or drive with path and file name. DATA has two major parts: FILE SECTION and the WORKING STORE, with one FD for every file SELECT / ASSIGN had named before. Each FD has a BLOCK, RECORD, a LABEL, and the DATA too, DATA's broken down to fields with LEVEL names and PICTURES too. WORKING STORAGE is the place where all the extra parts are kept, like HEADINGS, FILLERS, COUNTERS, SWITCHES, and the like it will accept. At placing them through the report you really should be most adept, They'll dress up all those boring files and you won't look so quite inept. PROCEDURE is the final phase within the COBOL symphony, where everything defined before now sings together perfectly. The paragraphs are numbered to outline the movements of the score, Now DATA takes the center stage and WORKING STORAGE is the corps. INITIALIZE with OPEN files, MOVE zeros to the counters too, Then start the LOOPs with READ and IFs, while counters keep close track for you. MOVE each FIELD-NAME to RECORD-LINE so you can print it carefully, Then print the HEADERS, CLOSE the files, and STOP RUN ends it perfectly. © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top Twilight Rendezvous I come into the garden with the late afternoon air, Dimming sun beams fill the yard with golden everywhere. Beyond the hedge and past the trees I look to where you wait, Your lazing form greets my eye resting by the gate. The setting sun warms your skin with a ruddy yellow glow, Anticipation wets my mouth of your sweetness that I know. Your soft, curving body so warm and full and sweet, Delectable to my eyes and mouth for every sense a treat. I hold you firmly in my hands and you brush upon my lip, and now tomato, so luscious and red into my tummy you slip. © Carolyn Jorgensen Back to Top   Home